I've just done something that I've been putting off for about 9 months. I've finally gone through all of my daughter's baby clothes and put them in bags to donate on Freecycle, a worldwide gifting movement that reduces waste, saves precious resources & eases the burden on our landfills while enabling our members to benefit from the strength of a larger community. I think this has been the hardest thing I may have ever done and I'm trying to figure out why. Having struggled w/ my fertility since I was 17 and newly married to my hubby, I've learned a tremendous amount about my body and how it works. My fertility has become part of who I am and being that I enjoy every minuscule detail of becoming a mother and being a woman, it hurts to know that I will never experience that again. Yes, I'm sure I don't want any more children but I still have a right to grieve over loosing that part of my life. The part that makes me feel incredibly beautiful. The part that makes me feel young, and meaningful....that gives me suspense and hope and connects me to the amazing privilege of experiencing the gift that only God has given to women. So, on this bitter-sweet day, I'm passing on my daughter's beautiful baby clothes to someone in need and have only kept a few very special items. I raise my tea cup to all women today who have had to make the same difficult decision as I have and lived through it. Cheers.
10 comments:
Awwww, I'm sorry but at the same time I'm happy for you. You are doing a good deed!
(Here from SITS)
Thanks! I know I'll get over it. I do feel really good about helping someone else though. :)
good for you! I haven't been able to do it myself yet... although I said over and over again that I was done with my last. I do feel like I am done, but the thought of REALLY meaning it makes me cry! ...so I get what you are feeling. I'm glad that you are donating your clothes... that's a great way to feel good about doing something that might not feel so good right this second! : )
Yeah...we HAVE to be done! We have no more room in the mini van or in our apartment and certainly can't afford to be going bigger! Besides, I think what kills me the most is seeing them growing up...not having the baby stage around for much longer is depressing. Since I'll probably always feel this way, it just wouldn't make sense to keep having babies to avoid it. They'll always grow up!
Bittersweet hurdle #1, or is it 2? Not a fun one at all. I was told after I had my youngest that we shouldn't have more, so now that we can't have any more it seems to make each progressive step that my baby makes that much harder. On me at least, because I know I will never again get that experience again. I will admit though, on the day I changed my last diaper there was a lot of smiling going on. So there's a good one to look forward too :)
I am looking forward to no diapers!..and being able to go grocery shopping w/o taking all 5 of them w/ us. :)
OH, it's so tough to let go! I know my daughter will be the only one, and I've held onto her baby clothes (the bins and bins of outfits my mother and sister bought for her) for far too long. I was hoping someone I knew would have a baby girl in the spring/summer, but no, all boys as of late! Time to let go....although I refuse to let go of those size 5 skinny jeans of mine from 1989! ;)
LOL Christine! I know that feeling too!
Well I am in the minority here I know but the baby stage is not missed at our house neither by my wife nor myself. I celebrated each milestone my younger passed: last formula we bought, last diaper we changed, last onesie she wore. I can take them out somewhere without packing the entire house to take with me. Still I know deep down inside that we were meant for two and no more. I guess part of me wishes it were different because Christmas at your house in 20 years will be fantastic while ours will be also but on a much smaller scale. So there are positives and negatives as well.
I'm so glad you don't have to feel like I do LB...I wish I felt like you do. I still celebrate their milestones, but I also know I'll never experience them again. Ugh..sucks to be sappy!
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